Myths About Men, Women, and Online Dating

They say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. We sometimes think, act and behave so differently, that we start to believe this statement holds some truth. But as different as we may be, we can’t live without each other. That’s why we need to learn each other’s language and decipher each other’s secret codes. Let’s take a look at two common beliefs about men and women.

Women prefer bad boys. Lots of men are under the impression that women like the notorious bad boy. They assume that being too nice to a women can be viewed as wimpy or interpreted as weakness. Let’s analyze this. What is it about bad boys that attracts women and why do the nice guys seem to always finish last?

First of all, it’s not being treated badly by a man that women are attracted too. It’s the confidence and strength bad boys exude that’s so appealing to women. It’s instinctual for women to be drawn to a strong confident man. In nature, the female of every species is drawn to the alpha male who displays the ability to take care of her and her offspring, it’s the same natural instinct that drives humans.

Bad boys seem to chase after and date lots of women, while the nice guys, being less aggressive, hang in the background. Bad boys play hard to get while nice guys tend to be open, letting you know where they stand. Bad boys act like they couldn’t care less, while nice guys are interested in seeing that your needs are met.

It’s not that women like to be ignored by men, it’s the thrill of the chase that women like. It’s having to work hard to get the guy that all the other girls want, that makes the bad boy so irresistible. So how does the nice guy get ahead? The nice guy may be shy which comes across as sensitive and compliant. The nice guy seems like a push over when in reality, he is just kind and accommodating. Unfortunately, the nice guy may some times be overlooked since he appears “needy”.

It might be to a man’s advantage to strive to be somewhere in the middle, a little bad boy and a little nice guy.

Men can’t communicate. Women are always complaining that men don’t communicate. Men and women’s brains are wired differently, which is why there is a communication challenge in most male-female relationships. Men tend to group their feeling into compartments while women remember all related issues and lump them all together. When this occurs within a “discussion”, men take this as an all out character attack and shut down.

Men and women also have different motives for communicating. Both men and women use communication as a way to express their needs, prove they are right and affirm their self-worth. This is where the similarity ends. Women use communication to form an emotional bond where men tend to use communication toward some result, like solving a problem or issue.

As soon as a woman starts a conversation, she is longing for that connection through the communication itself. Men however, are not comfortable talking about emotions, and try to quickly arrive at a solution, cutting the conversation short once a conclusion is made.

It is important for women to understand that most men have been taught to suppress their emotions and feel demeaned if they express feeling of failure, fear or self doubt. If your guy appears aloof and unable to share with you his thoughts and feelings, it’s not because he does not care or love you. He expresses his feelings through actions, such as taking care of the family.

Understanding and accepting our differences is the key to successful relationships. This is not an easy process and takes constant work from both parties.

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