Chances are you've had a bad date once or twice in your lifetime. Some of us even go through a series of bad dates before finding that special someone. Yet, bad dates can be a great teaching tool which, in turn, will strengthen the odds for better dating experiences down the road.
Perhaps my poor dating experiences can benefit you. Here--in no particular order--are five things I learned when single:
- Never Give Anyone Your Address—Even if You're A Guy! Over coffee on a first date, a slightly unhinged woman threatened to kill herself if I ever left her. I quickly ended the date, fearing for my life and hers. That was the wise, self-preserving thing to do. However, I forgot that I had given her my address. The next day, she angrily appears on my doorstep, calls me everything but a Child of God, and then proceeds to call everyone by my last name in the phone book—telling them what a lowlife, two-timing loser I was to her! Thank God she didn't carry a weapon!
- I Talk Too Much! I discovered this when I had a first date with a pretty blonde who spoke incessantly—even while chewing her food. Perhaps she was nervous, but I couldn't get a word in edge-wise. I learned so much about her—and, surprisingly, about myself: I do talk too much! I was a male version of this lady—too talkative and me-oriented. From hereon out, I vowed to listen more and talk less.
- Never Use A Date's Computer—Until You Really Know That Person! One night, my phone rang while I was in a popular fast-food restaurant. My then-girlfriend wanted to know who so-and-so was and why did she send a “hugz” my way. I quickly learned she had checked her computer's history. While my 'hugz” came from a platonic female friend, her assumptions hurt our relationship and broke my heart.
- Bringing Children on a First Date is A Major Mistake! I am an older parent of two adopted children who met another older parent. We clicked so well on the phone, but had our children for the weekend. Mister Wizard (me) to the rescue: Why don't we meet at a popular indoor arcade for kids? We did, and it was a complete disaster. Not only do you fail to share quality time together, the children interrupt you every minute or so—because they are children. It isn't their fault; it's ours! Especially mine.
- Even If You Click, You Can't Hurry Love! More than a few times in my life, I've rushed into a relationship—only to frighten the object of my affection away. Some I fondly recall with slightly cute nicknames, like Golfing Woman or Coffee Lady. I discovered I was moving too fast. It was like the Tortoise and the Hare: Slow and Steady wins the race.
Though none of these dates turned into a lifetime romance, I've learned from each and every date. Perhaps, by reading this, you'll avoid some of the dating mistakes I did.
